Complaining: Why you do it and how to stop it.

Man. Is it just me or are there a whole bunch of super grumpy people out there?

Blog post after blog post, Facebook rant after Facebook rant – I feel like everyone is complaining about something all the time.

Whether someone is complaining about receiving poor service at a restaurant, or being a waitress at said restaurant and not receiving a good tip, or yelling about the person who cut them off while commuting to work, or even the person who writes obnoxious passive aggressive status updates when they feel that someone in their life has wronged them in some way, it’s everywhere we look! So much complaining.

We all have a lot we could complain about, but why bother? It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make the problem go away. In fact, it does the opposite. It magnifies the problem! Complaining makes everything worse. You get cranky, or sad, or frustrated, or anxious.

One of my colleagues would get “sick butt” whenever she focused on her problems. In other words….she had to poop. A lot. So not worth it!

People only complain when they want something to be different, so instead of complaining, make it different!

Here’s how you do it: focus on the solution.

There is a solution to every problem, and I mean Every. Single. Problem. Sometimes the solution is knowing that certain things just cannot be changed, accepting this fact, and moving on. Kind of like L.A. traffic. It just IS and won’t be changed!  If you live in Southern California, you know what I’m talking about.

You have a choice. Seriously, it’s a choice! You can focus on problems or you can focus on solutions. Next time you find yourself complaining, stop and do this:

  1. Clearly identify the problem. Ex: My kids and I were always running late in the morning.
  2. What is it about the problem that is making you complain? Ex: It was frustrating, stressful, and unpleasant. I felt like I just couldn’t get my sh!t together in the morning.
  3. What would you like to be different? Ex: Instead of rushing around like lunatics, I wanted the morning to be smooth, peaceful, and enjoyable.
  4. Find the solution. Ex: I started getting one week worth of clothes ready on Sunday. Backpacks and lunches were packed the evening before.

Boom! Problem solved.

If you can change it, then do it. Go through the steps above and find the solution.

If you can’t change it, don’t complain about it. Instead, follow the immortal words of Elsa: let it go.

Here’s to being the champion of your own health and happiness!

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